I stumbled upon the following poem two Christmases ago. I saved it to a file, printed it out and tucked it into a real folder. All of this so as not to forget. I have spent far too much time waiting, holding back, making deals with myself, with time, with karma, fate, the gods, and God. Always along the lines of “If this, then I will allow myself that.” Born of self discipline and some measure of self-denial, it’s a hard habit to break. But I continue to make progress, joyfully, whole-heartedly, and unabashedly engaging in life, knowing that each breath and each moment is the special occasion.
And so this is my Christmas gift to you…
Christmas at Midlife
I am no longer waiting for a special occasion; I burn the best candles on ordinary days.
I am no longer waiting for the house to be clean; I fill it with people who understand that even dust is Sacred.
I am no longer waiting for everyone to understand me; It’s just not their task
I am no longer waiting for the perfect children; my children have their own names that burn as brightly as any star.
I am no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop; It already did, and I survived.
I am no longer waiting for the time to be right; the time is always now.
I am no longer waiting for the mate who will complete me; I am grateful to be so warmly, tenderly held.
I am no longer waiting for a quiet moment; my heart can be stilled whenever it is called.
I am no longer waiting for the world to be at peace; I unclench my grasp and breathe peace in and out.
I am no longer waiting to do something great; being awake to carry my grain of sand is enough.
I am no longer waiting to be recognized; I know that I dance in a holy circle.
I am no longer waiting for Forgiveness. I believe, I Believe.
-Mary Anne Perrone
As posted in 2016 on wildwomansisterhood.com